Falling in love comes from seeing

Here’s some of what I’ve learned for certain after much research, study, and experience. I could show you the studies, but honestly, what you really need, oh burgeoning libertine heart, is to have faith.

• You don't need to perform. You need to become. Care for your soul, and you and your lover will be drawn to each other.
• Lasting, passionate love is real, and more common than you have been told.
• Love is a feeling, arising from seeing. Love is the pleasure which arises when we see that someone is deeply wonderful. The more you notice, the more love arises. That is, the more you marvel, treasure, and yearn for them. The more you attune to this resulting pleasure, the more the loop of noticing and loving grows. The more you “fall in love.”
• Love is the bedrock of the best relationships. When two people are in love, they are compelled to honor and assist their beloveds. If you both choose based on love and ensure you will stay in love, you have done all that matters.
• Staying deeply in love for decades isn't luck. It comes from being a certain kind of person, and you can become that person by practicing the skills at the heart of loving: attuning to beauty, storytelling, and entering the unknown. When these skills are practiced, they also heal the soul, reveal your own particular beauty, and make you easy to fall in love with in return.
• Feelings are guides. Follow them carefully and they show you what you need. To maintain love, you must allow yourself to be incentivized by pleasurable feelings because…
• Love is the greatest pleasure. There is no trade worth delaying lasting love.