Becoming
a Romantic
Finding love that lasts is not luck. It is about a way of seeing. Learn the art of crystallization, find a partner whom you can love deeply and who can love you back, and become the kind of mind that can carry love across decades. Guaranteed.
The ordinary becomes wondrous
Stendhal told of a bare branch left in the salt mines of Salzburg: months later it is drawn out covered in glittering crystals. Love works the same way. Your attention grows crystals over the one you love: each charming detail noticed, each meaning made, another facet of their preciousness. Romance is the skill of keeping that crystal vision alive and sparkling, through mundanity, through disagreement, through time.
This is the great pleasure of being in love
Place your beloved's crystal visage in the sky of your mind, and reckon with the gulf between you
You will know them for years and never fully know them. You cross the distance, but never completely, and then depart again. This is not a flaw in love; it is the engine of pleasurable yearning and treasuring. Hold their vision closer, and your love takes on tenderness and gratitude. Held farther, love takes on marveling and passionate desire. A romantic learns to play that distance like an instrument.
But to romance a person, first you must romance life.
What makes a romantic?
Four trainable orientations for sustaining romance in life and love. The practice is a pleasure. The result is evident in you. Unconsciously untangle and transform to stop repelling potential partners and start enticing them.
Beauty‑appreciating
Because beauty is a qualitative judgement, believing a thing beautiful makes it become so. The pleasure of beauty awaits.
Risk‑taking
Vulnerability, leaps of faith, generative action. Love is not available to the perfectly defended.
Meaning‑making
Storytelling as a discipline: weaving what you notice into proof of the wondrousness of your beloved, and of your life.
Yearning
Reckoning with distance and difference, the paradox of never fully having what is yours, and finding it pleasurable to crave your beloved.
Five steps to lasting romantic love
We will work through all this together as needed. First romance life to then romance a beloved.
Endorse the aim
Dissolve the limiting beliefs that say lasting romantic love is not real or possible for you; examined honestly, most limiting beliefs don't survive.
Become a romantic
Evolve your mind into the type of mind that can carry and feel love over decades and doesn't repel partners with unconscious blockages. Incidentally, you will also begin to experience great pleasure in the other areas of your life.
Find your “seed crystals”
What traits make you fall hard in love with someone, and what is unique in you which could make someone fall hard for you? Learn these to date wisely and find your true love quickly.
Attract your beloved
Learn how to make your best traits evident, where the people who'd treasure them are, how to craft romantic moments, and how to recognize someone who can love you truly and long.
Maintain love over the long haul
Your insurance: Learn how to approach relationship repair. Learn how to help your lover or yourself if you have any roadblocks, humbly, gently, yet passionately.
Coaching with Ivy
Ivy is an essayist and romance coach who believes we are due a romantic revival: that in an age of technology and AI, the ability to create meaning and passion within your own mind is the thing that will matter most. She has walked this path herself, and it made her life, including her love life, much more amazing in only a few weeks.
Working together
- Determines precisely what is holding you back from love that lasts
- Guides you on the 5-step path to find longterm love as soon as possible
- Gives you the key feedback which only a romantic woman can
- Helps you find your romantic partner
Book a call
Coaching: the eight-week arc. We begin with a free discovery call. No commitment, no preparation; just a conversation.
Meet Ivy, bring your questions and your skepticism, and find out whether the work is right for you.
Your satisfaction is guaranteed with a full refund. You've got nothing to lose but so much to gain: deep wonder and pleasure about life, and then love.
Book a discovery callThe Eight-Week Arc
The complete coaching package: two months of deliberate practice, with Ivy beside you the whole way.
- Eight calls: one per week, 60–90 minutes as you prefer
- Unlimited texting with Ivy between sessions, as questions, small victories, and thoughts come up
- Customized homework each week, with feedback as you work through it
- More direction, assignments, and feedback based on your engagement with the process. Develop as quickly as you want.
Total cost: $2400, with satisfaction guarantee
How blessed are you to have the chance to love?
Begin with a conversation. Bring your skepticism; it's welcome here.